15 Signs an Adult Was a Frat Boy in College
We all know a few frat guys that still think they have to be frat once they are out of school. Here are 16 characteristics of an adult that wa a frat boy while in college.
1. He doesn’t treat the interns too kindly.
These are interns? What? Look like a bunch of corporate pledge-f*cks to me.
2. If he’s not still talking about college, you could bet he’s boasting about his high school days.
Yo, I’m not going to say college was the best time of my life, because, honestly, high school probably contained less responsibility.
3. He has a large collection of khakis and pastel-colored Polo shirts.
Well, don’t forget about the lacrosse pennies and beer-related graphic tees.
4. He can still appreciate a nice lukewarm Natty Light.
Also a big fan of generically branded, dirt-cheap vodka that comes in plastic handles.
5. He still has his council position on his resume.
Do you think I should include “Pike President?” I mean, it’s a retail sales position, but it probably couldn’t hurt to add.
6. He’s really good at completely useless tasks like darts and pong.
Beer pong, specifically — and who says beer pong is useless?!
7. He lasts longer at keg stands than he does at sex.
But both last pretty long, bro. I can keg stand for almost a full minute.
8. He’s really big on Donald Trump as President.
I think Trump’s policies are sound — and I appreciate his honesty. Can’t really think of a reason why he ISN’T fit to be our nation’s president…
9. He drops words like “legend” and “legacy” in seemingly trivial conversation.
My whole legacy is full of legends — and that’s why I chose to order a sandwich for lunch.
10. He has a name for his penis.
I don’t think it’s strange to name my penis. His name is Karl. Is that so bizarre?
11. He’s largely patriotic but bears minimal knowledge about any relevant political issues.
I hope they’re not saying anything bad about ‘MURICA, because — if they are — tell them I want to fight.
12. He still goes back for every game day.
I don’t care if our football team hasn’t won in eight years — you could learn a little something about SCHOOL PRIDE. Not to mention, the incoming freshman class. BRROOOOOO. FRESHMAN BRO!
13. He considers crying to be weak.
Yo dude, crying is for bitches — unless he’s having a drunk bro moment with your brothers. Then it’s cool.
14. He thinks Uranus is a funny name for a planet.
Because it’s like ur-anus. Like butts. Do you get it? It’s funny, bro.
15. It’s all downhill for him from here.
But at least I’ll always have the memories.
Have a friend with any of these characteristics? Share this post with them.